Alternative biography
w w w . a l a s t a i r h u d s o n . c o m

The foregoing, somewhat sanitised account of the life of Alastair Hudson fails to account for his earlier years and a parallel life long kept hidden from the world. This short document aims to plug some of those gaps for the first time.

Having been born one dark November night during a crossfire hurricane as the result of a celestial union between a unicorn and an angel, Alastair was raised by wolves in the forests of northern Sweden. The keen hunting instincts and passion for close harmony howling of the wolf pack explain much about his research and lecturing styles respectively. For some time the infant child worked a con on harmless livestock farmers pretending to have trained the wolves to sing selections from the Cole Porter songbook.

This scam fizzled out when the wolves were offered a winter-long residence at the Helsinki Blues Bunker by a passing talent scout. Instead Alastair devoted himself to fighting crime on the tundra by dint of his eerie feeling for snow. While business was initially somewhat slow, it kept its head above bankruptcy helped in part by finding a stock pile of uranium in a crashed satellite. He used this find to extort several million dollars from leading world governments by means of an auction run from his hidden volcanic lair.

While vacationing in Switzerland, Alastair inadvertently intruded on a duel to the death between two members of a secret Rosicrucian society. On closer inspection it transpired that the combatants were beating each other energetically with birch twigs as opposed to sabres. It emerged that they were part of a Lappish chapter of the society. Spotted by aides to the victor, Alastair was captured and imprisoned by the Rosicrucians who began to torture him by reading out-loud favourite passages from The Da Vinci Code and Foucault's Pendulum in seven teams of three deep into the night.

Having escaped from the clutches of this secret society over the Alps - by marking mystic runes on the walls of his cell and escaping while his guards quarrelled over their meaning - he worked for some time as the assistant to a member of minor Italian royalty. However it became clear to him that no matter how hard he worked nor how successful he was, he would nevertheless never be appointed Grand Count of Calabri-Atalanta. It was a case of who you were, rather than what you did: an elitist approach with which he could feel comfortable.

As an expression of his commitment to social justice he began working in the British university sector.

Oh and he likes sports and reading, blah blah blah.

Copyright Alastair Hudson 2004. All Rights Reserved.